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Arsenic and Old Lace Cast 3 (Night 1)
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HillviewTV Team
·
December 02, 2022
·
1:36:43
Hillview's Arsenic and Old Lace continues!
Transcript
0:00
Thank you.
3:17
Harper. My sister Martha and I have been talking all week about your sermon last Sunday.
3:20
That's very gratifying, Miss Brewster.
3:22
You see, living next to the church all of our lives, we've seen many ministers come and go.
3:26
The spirit of Brooklyn, we always say, is friendliness, and your sermons are not so much sermons, friendly talks.
3:31
Personally, I've always enjoyed my talks to Cardinal Gibbons. Or, have I met him yet?
3:36
No, dear. Not yet. Are the biscuits good?
3:39
Won't you have another biscuit, Dr. Harper?
3:41
Oh, no. I always eat too many of your biscuits just to taste that lovely jam.
3:45
I do hope they don't make us use that imitation flower again.
3:47
I mean, with all this war trouble.
3:49
It may not be very charitable of me,
3:51
but I've almost come to the conclusion that this Mr. Hitler isn't a Christian.
3:54
If only Europe were on another planet.
3:57
Europe, sir.
3:58
Now, Teddy.
3:59
No, to the West.
4:00
There's your danger.
4:01
There's your enemy, Japan.
4:03
Why, yes.
4:04
Yes, of course.
4:06
No, Aunt Abby.
4:07
More talk about the canal.
4:08
Well, let's not talk about war.
4:09
I must admit, Miss Abby, that war and violence seem...
4:13
far removed from these surroundings. It is peaceful here, isn't it? Yes, peaceful. This
4:18
house has the
4:19
gentle virtues that went out with candlelight, good manners, and low taxes. It's just as it was
4:23
when Grandfather Brewster built and furnished it, except for the electricity Mortimer persuaded us
4:27
to put that in. Yes, your nephew Mortimer seems to live only by electric light.
4:33
I understand he's
4:33
taking Elaine with him to the theater again today. Teddy, your brother Mortimer will be here a little
4:37
later. Oh, delighted. We're so happy it's Elaine Mortimer.
4:41
takes to the theater with him. Well, it's a new experience for me to wait up until three o'clock
4:45
in the morning for my daughter to be brought home. Oh, Dr. Harper, I hope you don't disapprove of
4:49
Mortimer. Well... We'd feel so guilty if you did, Sister Martha and I. I mean, since it was in
4:55
our
4:55
home that your daughter first met Mortimer. Of course, Miss Abby. And so I'll say immediately
4:59
that I believe Mortimer himself to be quite a worthy gentleman. I must also admit, however,
5:04
that I've lost the growing intimacy between him and my daughter with some trepidation.
5:09
For one reason, Miss Abby, I'm speaking of your nephew's unfortunate connection
5:14
with the theater.
5:16
The theater? Oh no, Dr. Harper, Mortimer writes for a New York newspaper.
5:20
I know, Miss Abby, I know, but a dramatic critic is constantly exposed to the theater,
5:25
and I don't doubt but what some of them do develop an interest in it.
5:28
Oh, well, you need to have no fear of that. Mortimer hates the theater.
5:32
Yes, he writes awful things about it.
5:34
My, my.
5:34
And besides, he says the theater can't last much longer.
5:37
anyway. Another year or two, perhaps. No, thank you, Teddy.
5:42
I'll go. Come
5:49
in, Mr. Bofi.
5:49
Hello, Miss Brewster. How are you, Mr. Klein? Very well, Miss Brewster. What news have you
5:53
brought me? Colonel, we have nothing to report. That's splendid. Thank you, gentlemen. At
5:58
ease. You know Dr. Harper? Sure. Hello, Dr. Harper. We've come for the
6:03
choice of the
6:04
Christmas fund. Oh, yes.
6:05
Teddy, go upstairs and get that big box in your Aunt Martha's room.
6:08
That's a splendid work you men do.
6:10
Fixing up discarded toys to give poor children a happier Christmas.
6:16
It gives us something to do when we have to sit around the station.
6:18
You get tired playing cards, and they start cleaning your gun,
6:21
and the first thing you know, you've shot yourself in the foot.
6:23
How's Mrs. Brophy today?
6:24
Mrs. Brophy has been quite ill, you know, Dr. Harper.
6:27
I'm sorry to hear that.
6:29
Oh, she's better now.
6:30
A little weak still.
6:32
I'm going to get some broth for you to take.
6:33
to her. Oh, don't bother, Miss Abby. You've done so much for her already. Oh, it's not a bother. Me
6:38
and Martha made some this morning. I won't be a minute. Sit down and be comfortable, all of you.
6:42
She shouldn't go to all that trouble. Listen, try to stop her or her sister from doing something
6:46
nice, and for nothing. They don't even care how you vote. When I first came to Brooklyn, my wife
6:51
wasn't well. When she died, and for the months before, well, if I know what pure kindness
6:56
and
6:57
absolute generosity are, it's because I've known the Brewster sisters.
7:04
Colonel, you promised not to do that.
7:08
He used to do that in the middle of the night.
7:10
The neighbors were a little afraid of him.
7:12
Oh, he's quite harmless.
7:14
The posty does think he's Teddy Roosevelt.
7:16
There's a lot worse people I could think he was.
7:18
Darn shame, a nice family like this hatching a cuckoo.
7:21
Well, his father, the old girl's brother, was some sort of a genius, wasn't he?
7:25
And their father seems to me I've heard he was a little crazy, too.
7:28
Yeah, he was crazy.
7:29
like a fox. He made a million dollars. Really? Here in Brooklyn? Yeah, Peyton Medicine. He
7:35
was
7:35
kind of a quack of some sort. Old Sergeant Edward remembers him. He used to house here as a sort of
7:39
a clinic. Tried them out on people. Yeah, I hear he used to make mistakes occasionally too. The
7:44
department never bothered him much because he was pretty useful in autopsies sometimes,
7:47
especially poison cases. Well, whatever he did left his daughters fixed for life.
7:53
Thank God for that. Not that they spent any of it on themselves. Yes, I'm well acquainted with
7:56
their charities.
7:57
You don't know a tenth of it.
7:59
When I was at the missing person's beer, I was trying to find an old man that we never did find.
8:03
Do you know there's a renting agency on its list for furnished rooms?
8:06
They don't rent rooms, but you can bet that anybody who comes looking for a room
8:10
goes away with a good meal and probably a few dollars in their pocket.
8:14
It's just a way of digging up people to do some good to.
8:18
Well, now, isn't this nice?
8:21
Good afternoon, Miss Brewster.
8:22
How do you do, Mr. Bofi, Dr. Harper, Mr. Klein?
8:25
Sorry, Miss Brewster. We dropped into the deck to get the Christmas toys.
8:28
Oh, yes. Teddy's army and navy. They're all packed.
8:31
The colonel's upstairs after it. It seems the cabinet has to okay it.
8:36
Yes, of course. I hope Mrs. Brophy's doing better.
8:38
She's doing fine, ma'am. Your sister's getting some soup for me to take to her.
8:41
Oh, yes. We made it this morning. I just took some to a poor old man who broke ever so many bones.
8:47
Oh, you're back, Martha. How is Mr. Benitzky?
8:49
Well, dear, it's pretty serious, I'm afraid.
8:51
The doctor was there. He says he's going to amputate...
8:53
in the morning oh can we be present no i asked him but he says it's against the rules of the hospital
8:59
you couldn't be of any service and besides you must spare yourself something
9:05
well here's the broth mr brofie be sure it's good and hot yes ma'am
9:11
this is fine it'll make a lot of kids happy that omali boy is nuts about
9:16
soldiers oh that's general
9:18
miles i've retired him what's this the oregon teddy
9:21
dear put it back but the organ goes to australia now teddy no abby i've given my
9:27
word to fighting
9:27
bob evans but teddy what's the difference and what kid gets it bobby evans is he cohen we'll
9:33
be running along ma 'am and thank you very much not at all goodbye
9:40
charge i must be getting home
9:44
before you go dr harper you know these stairs are always san juan
9:49
hill
9:50
Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?
9:54
Oh, no.
9:54
But he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.
9:56
Once, a long time ago, remember, Martha?
9:58
We thought if he would be George Washington, it might be a nice change for him.
10:01
But he stayed under his bed for days and just wouldn't be anybody.
10:04
And we'd so much rather he'd be Mr. Roosevelt than be nobody.
10:07
Well, if he's happy, and what's more important, you're happy,
10:11
you'll see to it that he signs these.
10:14
What are they?
10:15
Dr. Harper has arranged for Teddy to go to Happydale Sanitarium after...
10:18
we pass on. But why should Teddy sign any papers now? It's better to have everything worked out.
10:22
If the Lord should take you away suddenly, perhaps we couldn't get Teddy to commit himself,
10:26
and that would mean an unpleasant legal procedure. Mr. Witherspoon understands they're to be
10:31
followed away until the time comes to use them. Mr. Witherspoon? Who's he? He's the superintendent
10:35
of Happydale. Dr. Harper has arranged for him to come in tomorrow or the next day to meet Teddy.
10:40
I must be running along now or Elaine will be over here looking for me.
10:43
Give our love to Elaine, and Dr. Harper, please don't think...
10:46
harshly of Moimer because he's a dramatic critic.
10:48
Somebody has to do those things.
10:52
Did you just have tea? Isn't it rather late?
10:54
Well, yes, and dinner's going to be late, too.
10:58
Teddy, good news for you.
10:59
You're going to Panama to dig another lock for the canal.
11:01
Oh, that's splendid.
11:03
I should prepare out once for the journey.
11:05
Abby, while I was out?
11:07
Yes, dear.
11:08
I just, I couldn't wait for you.
11:10
I didn't know when you'd be back, and Dr. Harper was coming.
11:12
But all by yourself?
11:13
Oh, I got along just...
11:14
I'll run right downstairs and see.
11:16
No, Martha, there wasn't time and I was all alone.
11:19
Just look in the window seat.
11:28
Oh, it's Elaine. Come in, dear.
11:29
Good afternoon, Miss Abby. Good afternoon, Miss Martha.
11:32
I thought Father was here.
11:33
He just this minute left. Didn't you meet him?
11:35
No, I took the shortcut through the cemetery.
11:37
Mortimer hasn't come yet.
11:39
Oh, he asked me to meet him here. Do you mind if I wait?
11:42
Not at all. Sit down.
11:43
We must speak to Mortimer about doing this to you.
11:46
When a gentleman is taking a young lady out, he should call for her at her house.
11:50
He's done this too often, I think. We're going to have to speak to him.
11:53
Oh, please don't. After a young man has an idea of nightlife is to take me to prayer meeting,
11:57
it's wonderful to go to the theater almost every night of my life.
11:59
My goodness, Elaine, what must you think of us not having tea cleared away by this time?
12:03
Now, you don't do anything in the kitchen until Mortimer comes.
12:06
Mortimer should be here any minute now.
12:07
Yes. Father must have been surprised not to find me at home.
12:10
I'd better run over and say goodnight to him.
12:11
Well, it's a shame you missed him, dear.
12:13
If Mortimer comes, you tell him I'll be right back.
12:17
Hello, Mort.
12:18
Hello, Elaine.
12:19
Hello, Aunt Marfa.
12:23
Abby, Mortimer's here.
12:24
Were you going somewhere?
12:25
I was just going over to tell Father not to wait up for me.
12:27
I didn't know that was still being done, even in Brooklyn.
12:31
Oh, hello, Mortimer.
12:32
Hello, Aunt Abby.
12:33
How are you, dear?
12:34
All right, and you look well.
12:35
You haven't changed about since yesterday.
12:37
Oh, my goodness.
12:38
it was yesterday wasn't it we're seeing a great deal of you lately well come sit down abby
12:43
have
12:44
we had things to do in the kitchen huh you know tea things oh
12:49
yes oh yes the tea things um well
12:52
you two just make yourselves at home make yourselves at home well that was pretty obvious
12:57
yep where do i go for dinner i don't care i'm not very hungry well i just have breakfast
13:01
suppose we will until after the show but that'll make it pretty late won't it not with a little
13:06
grossing tonight. From what I heard,
13:08
we'll be out by ten o'clock. You ought
13:10
to be fair to these plays. Are these plays fair to me?
13:12
I've never seen you walk out on a musical.
13:15
Musicals somehow have a humanizing
13:16
effect on you. After a serious play,
13:18
we join the common people on the subway, and I
13:20
listen to a lecture on the drama. After a
13:22
musical, you take me home in a taxi, and
13:24
we have a few laughs. Now, darling, that's a
13:26
very inaccurate piece of reporting.
13:28
It wasn't until after our first musical, you told me
13:30
I had nice legs, and I have, too.
13:32
Which reminds me, I'd better tell father, please
13:34
to wait up for me tonight.
13:35
Why falling in love with a girl who lives in Brooklyn?
13:38
Falling in love?
13:39
The only way I can regain my self-respect
13:40
is to keep you in New York.
13:42
Will you marry me?
13:43
Oh, Mortimer.
13:45
How about tonight?
13:46
I'm afraid Father will insist on officiating.
13:48
Oh, gosh.
13:49
Are you by any chance writing a review of it?
13:51
Look at me, darling.
13:51
It's an occupational disease.
13:53
I might get that flight tonight at good notice.
13:54
Now, darling, don't pretend you love me that much.
13:57
I'll talk it over with Father and set the date.
13:59
No, we'll have to see what's in rehearsal first.
14:00
There'll be a lot more open and nice and awesome.
14:02
October. Oh, hello, Mortimer. Hello, Mr. President. How are you? Splendid.
14:08
Thank you. What news have you brought me? Justice, Mr. President. The country is squarely behind you. Yes, I know. Isn't
14:13
it wonderful? Well, goodbye. Goodbye. Where are you off to, Teddy? Panama.
14:19
Panama's the cellar. He digs locks for a canal down there. You're so sweet with him, and he's very fond of you. Well, Teddy
14:24
always was my favorite brother. Favorite? Were there more of you? Yes, there's another brother. Jonathan. Oh,
14:30
I've -
14:30
never heard of him. Your aunts never mentioned him. Oh, we don't like to talk about Jonathan.
14:35
He left fucking very early, by request. Jonathan was the kind of boy who liked to cut
14:40
worms in two,
14:41
with his teeth. What became of him? I don't know. He wanted to be a surgeon like grandfather,
14:46
but he went and got a medical school first, and his practice got him in trouble.
14:52
Theater? We're skipping dinner. We won't have to go for another half hour.
14:56
Oh, all right. I'll leave you alone together again, then. Don't bother. I'm gonna...
14:58
I'm going to speak to Father. Before I go out with you,
15:01
he likes to pray over me a little. I'll be
15:02
right back. I'll cut through the cemetery.
15:05
Oh, Mortimer, we knew Elaine
15:06
would be a good influence on you. Oh, by the way,
15:09
I'm going to marry her. What?
15:10
Oh, Martha! Martha, come in here.
15:13
I've got the most wonderful news for you.
15:15
Mortimer and Elaine are going to be married.
15:17
Married? Oh, Mortimer.
15:18
We hoped it would happen just like this.
15:21
Well, Elaine must be the happiest girl in the
15:22
world. Happy? Just look at her
15:24
leaping over those gravestones.
15:26
By the way, I left a large envelope around here last week.
15:29
It's one of the chapters of my book on Faroe. Have you seen it?
15:31
Well, if you left it here, it must be here somewhere.
15:34
What are your plans? There must be something else you can tell us about Elaine.
15:37
Elaine? Oh, yes. Elaine thought it was brilliant. What was, dear?
15:39
My chapter on Faroe.
15:42
Well, I think when Elaine comes back, we ought to have a little celebration.
15:45
We must drink to your happiness.
15:47
Martha, isn't there some of that Lady Baltimore cake left?
15:49
Oh, yes.
15:50
And I'll open a bottle of wine.
15:51
Oh, and to think it happened in this room.
15:53
Now, where could I have...
15:55
put that. Well, with your fiance sitting beside you tonight, I hope the play might even be something
15:59
you get to enjoy for once. It might be something romantic. What's the name of it?
16:02
Oh, um, Router Will Out. Oh, dear.
16:07
When the curtain goes up, the first thing you see will be
16:10
a dead body.
16:23
Aunt Abby?
16:24
Yes, dear?
16:25
You were making plans for Teddy to go to that sanitarium, Happydale?
16:30
Dr. Harper came in today and brought the papers for Teddy to sign.
16:32
Here they are.
16:34
He's got to sign them right away.
16:35
That's what Dr. Harper thinks.
16:36
That way there won't be any legal difficulties after we pass on.
16:39
He's got to sign them right this minute.
16:40
He's down the cellar.
16:41
Get him up here right away.
16:42
Oh, there's no such hurry in that.
16:45
When Teddy's working down at Panama, you can't get his mind on anything else.
16:48
Teddy's got to go to Happydale now.
16:51
dear that's until after we're gone right away i tell you right away why mortimer how can you say
16:56
such a thing as long as we live we'll never be separated from teddy listen darlings i've got
17:00
some shocking news for you you know how we sort of humor teddy because we thought he was harmless
17:04
why he is harmless he was harmless that's why
17:09
he has to go to happydale why he has to be confined
17:13
now mortimer it's so rude of you to turn on your brother teddy like this you've got
17:18
to know sometime
17:19
might as well be now. Teddy's killed a man. Nonsense, dear. But there's a body
17:24
in the window seat. Yes,
17:25
dear, we know. You know? Of course, but it has nothing to do with Teddy. No,
17:31
Mortimer, you just
17:32
forget about it. Forget you ever saw the gentleman. Forget? Well, we never dreamed you'd peek. But who
17:36
is he? His name's Hoskins, Adam Hoskins. That's really all I know about him, except that he's a
17:41
Methodist. That's all you know about him? What's he doing here? What happened to him? Oh, he died.
17:47
Martha. Men don't just get into window seats and die. No, he died first.
17:53
Well, how? Oh, Mortimer,
17:54
don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it.
17:58
How did the poison get in the wine? Well, we put it in the wine because it's less noticeable.
18:03
When it's in tea, it has a distinct odor. You put it in the wine? Yes, and I put Mr. Hoskins
18:08
in the
18:08
window seat because Dr. Harper was coming. So you know what you've done? You didn't want Dr. Harper
18:12
to see the body. Well, not at tea. That wouldn't have been very nice.
18:15
Now, Mortimer, you know the whole thing, just forget about it.
18:17
I do think Martha and I have a right to our own little secrets.
18:19
And don't you tell Elaine.
18:21
Oh, Abby, while I was out, I dropped into Miss Schultz.
18:23
She's doing much better, but she would like us to take Junior to the movies again.
18:27
Well, we must do that tomorrow or the next day.
18:28
But this time, we'll go where we want to go.
18:31
Junior's not going to drag me into another one of those scary pictures.
18:42
Hello, out.
18:43
Do you know who this is?
18:45
That's right.
18:47
Say, when I left the office, I told you I was going, remember?
18:51
What, where did I say?
18:53
Well, it took me about 30 minutes to get to Brooklyn.
18:56
What time have you got?
18:59
That's right.
19:01
I must be here.
19:04
Aunt Abby, Aunt Marfa, come in here!
19:06
What are we going to do?
19:08
Now, Mortimer, you behave yourself.
19:09
You're way too old to be flying off the randals.
19:11
like this. But Mr. Hoskins! Hoskins, dear. Whatever his name is, you can't leave him in there!
19:16
Oh, we
19:17
don't intend to, dear? No, Teddy's down in Panama right now, digging a lock to the canal. You mean
19:21
you're going to bury Mr. Hoskins in the cellar? Yes, dear, that's what we did with the others. No,
19:26
you can't. Others? The other gentleman. I didn't say others. You mean others. More than
19:31
one others.
19:32
Yes, now let me see. This is 11, isn't it, Abby? No, dear, this makes 12. No, Abby,
19:37
I think you're
19:38
wrong. This is only 11.
19:39
No, Martha, I'm pretty sure it's 12.
19:41
Because I remember that when Mr. Hoskins first came in,
19:44
it occurred to me that he would just make an even dozen.
19:46
Well, you can't really count the first one.
19:47
Oh, I was counting the first one, so that makes 12.
19:54
Oh, well, my, it's good to hear your voice.
20:01
Anyway, they're all done in the cellar.
20:02
Shh, look out.
20:04
I'm glad you called.
20:05
Get a hold of George right away.
20:07
He's got to...
20:07
come to play tonight? I can't make it.
20:09
No, Al, you're wrong. George has got to come
20:11
to play tonight. This is my department and I'm running it.
20:13
Now you get a hold of George.
20:15
Hey, Lexi, where were we?
20:17
Twelve! Well, Abby thinks we ought
20:19
to count the first one, so yes, that makes
20:21
twelve. Right now, who
20:24
was the first one? Mr. Midgley.
20:26
He was a Baptist. I really
20:28
can't think that we could claim the
20:29
first one, though, because he just died. Martha
20:31
means without any help from us. You see, Mr.
20:33
Midgley came in here looking for a room.
20:35
right after he moved to New York.
20:37
And it didn't seem right for such a lovely room to go to waste
20:39
when there were so many people who needed it.
20:40
He was such a lonely old man.
20:42
All his kith and kin were dead and it left him so forlorn and unhappy.
20:46
We felt so sorry for him.
20:48
And then, when his heart attack came and he sat dead in that chair,
20:51
remember, Martha?
20:53
We decided that if we could help other lonely old men to that same peace,
20:56
we would.
20:57
He died right in that chair.
20:58
How awful for you.
20:59
I know, dear.
21:00
Well, it's rather like old times.
21:01
You know, your grandfather always used to have a...
21:03
a cadaver or two around the house. You see, Teddy has been digging in Panama, and he thought
21:07
Mr. Midgley was a yellow fever victim. That meant he had to be buried immediately. So
21:11
we all went down to Panama and put him in the lock. You see, dear, that's why we told
21:15
you not to worry about it, because you know exactly what's to be done. That's all this
21:19
all started? They've been walking in here and dropping dead? Of course, we realized we
21:23
couldn't depend on that happening again. So? You know those jars of poison that's been
21:27
up on grandfather's laboratory, on the shelves in grandfather's laboratory all these years?
21:31
I know your Aunt Martha's not for mixing things.
21:33
I mean, you've eaten enough of her Piccadilly.
21:35
Well, for a gallon of elderberry wine,
21:37
I take a teaspoon of arsenic,
21:40
a half a teaspoon of strychnine,
21:41
and just a pinch of cyanide.
21:43
Should have quite a kick.
21:44
Yes, as a matter of fact,
21:45
one of our gentlemen found the time to say,
21:47
how delicious.
21:48
I better get things started in the kitchen.
21:50
Why don't you join us for dinner?
21:51
I'm trying out a new recipe.
21:53
Oh, I couldn't eat a thing.
21:55
Well, I feel so much better now.
21:57
Oh, you have to wait for Elaine, don't you?
21:58
How happy you must be.
22:00
Well, dear, I'll leave you alone with your thoughts.
22:17
Oh, it's you.
22:18
Don't be cross, darling.
22:19
Father could see that I was excited, so I told him about us,
22:22
and that made it hard for me to get away.
22:24
You run long now, Eight Lane, and I'll call you up tomorrow.
22:28
call you every day or two.
22:29
But we're going to the theater tonight.
22:31
No, no, we're not.
22:32
Well, why not?
22:33
I'm just not covering that play tonight.
22:35
Now, you're on home, Elaine.
22:36
But what, but I've got to know what's happened.
22:38
Certainly you can tell me.
22:39
No, dear, I can't.
22:40
But if we're going to be married.
22:42
Have you forgotten that not 15 minutes ago
22:44
you proposed to me?
22:45
I did?
22:47
Oh, yes, well, as far as I know,
22:48
that's still on.
22:49
Now, you're on home, Elaine.
22:51
You can't just propose to me one minute
22:52
and throw me out of the house the next.
22:53
I'm not throwing you out of the house, dog.
22:56
Darling. Will you get out of here?
22:58
No, I won't get out of here. Not until I've had some kind of explanation.
23:08
Hello, Al. Hold on a minute, will you? Hold on.
23:11
Look, Elaine, you're sweet and I love you.
23:14
But I want you to get out of here and wait until I call you.
23:16
Don't try to be masterful.
23:18
We're married and I have problems to face. I hope you're less tedious and uninspired.
23:21
And when we're married, if we're married, I hope I find you...
23:32
satisfactory hello hello hello that's
23:37
the doorbell dear not the telephone
23:43
how do you do come in i understand you have a room to rent yes won't you step in are you the
23:48
lady of the house yes i'm miss brewster and this is my sister another miss brewster my name is gibbs
23:52
you sit down? Sorry, we're just sitting at the table for dinner. Hello, city desk. Let
23:55
me talk to Owl again. Owl, city desk! What? I'm sorry, wrong number. May I see the
24:01
room?
24:01
Why don't you sit down a minute and let's get acquainted? That won't do much good if
24:04
I don't like the room. Is Brooklyn your home? Haven't got a home, live in a hotel. Don't
24:07
like it. Hello, city desk. Are your family Brooklyn people? Haven't got any family. All
24:12
alone in the world? Yep. Well, Martha, you've come to just the right place. Do
24:18
sit down.
24:19
Hello, Owl.
24:20
We got cut off.
24:21
Al, I can't cover the plate night.
24:23
That's all there is to it.
24:24
I can't.
24:24
What church do you go to?
24:26
There's an Episcopal church practically next door.
24:28
I'm Presbyterian.
24:30
What store's doing a Bermuda?
24:32
Certainly I told him we'd go to Bermuda.
24:34
It's my department, isn't it?
24:35
Well, there must be some...
24:36
Well, someone's got to cover the plate night.
24:38
Who else is there?
24:39
Is there always this much noise?
24:41
Oh, he doesn't live with us.
24:42
Well, there must got to be someone around the office.
24:44
Look out.
24:45
How about the office boy?
24:46
You know, the bright one.
24:47
The one we don't like.
24:48
Well, you look around. I'll hold on.
24:50
You know, I'd really like to see the room.
24:52
It's upstairs. Why don't you try a glass of our wine before we go up?
24:54
Never touch it. It's elderberry wine.
24:57
Elderberry wine? Well, I haven't had elderberry wine since I was a boy.
25:01
Thank you.
25:01
There's got to be some princess around.
25:03
Joe, his summer seems on the left.
25:06
Do you have your own elderberry bushes?
25:09
No, but the cemetery is full of them.
25:10
No, I'm not drinking, but I'm going to start now.
25:13
Do you serve meals?
25:14
We might, but first see if you like our wine or not.
25:19
Mortimer, eh, eh, eh, Mortimer, not that, ah,
25:25
ah, get out of here, do you want to, do you want to poison, do you want to be murdered, do you want to be
25:30
killed, well now you've spoiled everything, you can't do things like
25:35
that, it's not, it's not just against the law, it's wrong, people wouldn't understand, he wouldn't
25:40
understand, Abby, we shouldn't have told Mortimer, what I mean is,
25:44
This has developed into a very bad habit.
25:47
Mortimer, we don't try to stop you from things you like to do,
25:49
so I don't see why you feel the need to interfere with us.
25:54
Hello, Al.
25:55
Fine, I'll see the first act, and I'll pan the heck out of it.
25:58
But look, Al, you've got to do something for me.
26:00
Get a hold of O'Brien, our lawyer, head of our legal department.
26:03
Have him meet me at the theater.
26:05
Okay, I'm starting now.
26:07
Look, I've got to go to the theater tonight.
26:09
I can't get out of it.
26:10
But before I go, will you promise me something?
26:12
We'd have to know what it was first.
26:14
I love you very much, and I know you love me.
26:17
I want you to do just this little thing for me.
26:20
What do you want us to do?
26:21
Don't do anything.
26:22
And I mean, don't do anything.
26:24
Don't let anyone in this house and leave Mr. Hoskins right where he is.
26:27
Well, we're planning on holding services before dinner.
26:31
You don't think we'd bury Mr. Hoskins without a full Methodist service, do you?
26:35
Well, couldn't I wait until I get back?
26:37
Oh, yes, then you could join us.
26:39
Yes, yes.
26:40
Remember how lovely Mortimer used to sing in the choir before his voice changed?
26:43
I think you'll enjoy the services, Mortimer.
26:45
And remember, you're not going to let anyone in this house while I'm gone.
26:50
Martha, we can do that now that Mortimer's cooperating with us.
26:52
All right, Mortimer.
26:53
Have you got the paper?
26:54
I'll be back as soon as I can.
26:56
There's a man I've got to see.
26:57
Oh, here.
26:59
Here's some stationery.
27:01
I can save time if I write my review on the way to the theater.
27:06
Mortimer didn't seem quite himself today.
27:08
Yes, it's quite understandable. I think I know why.
27:11
Well, he's become engaged to being married, I suppose.
27:14
That always makes a man nervous, doesn't it?
27:16
Oh, Abby, while I was, or, oh, Abby, if Mortimer's coming for the services for Mr. Hoskins,
27:21
we'll need another hymnal. There's one in my room.
27:23
You know, dear, it's really my turn to read the services,
27:25
but since you weren't here when Mr. Hoskins came in, I'd like you to do it.
27:29
Well, that's very nice of you, dear, but are you sure you want me to?
27:31
Well, it's only fair.
27:33
Well, I think I'll wear my black bombocene and mother's old brooch.
27:38
Oh, I'll get that, dear. Don't worry.
27:39
We promised Mortimer we wouldn't let anyone in.
27:42
Well, then what do we do?
27:44
Wait a minute. I'll look.
27:48
It's two men, and I've never seen them before.
27:51
Are you sure?
27:52
There's a car parked out on the curb. They probably came in that.
27:55
Let me look.
27:58
Do you recognize that?
27:59
They're strangers to me.
28:00
I suppose we'll just have to pretend that we're not home.
28:06
Come in, Doctor. This is the home of my youth.
28:10
Wow, Chani, it's a fine hideout.
28:12
The family must still live here.
28:14
There's something so unmistakably bruised her by the Brewsters.
28:17
I hope there's a fatted calf waiting for the return of the prodigal.
28:21
Yeah, I'm hungry.
28:23
Oh, look, Chani, drinks.
28:25
As they were expected. A good omen.
28:28
Who are you? What are you doing in here?
28:30
Oh, Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha, it's Jonathan.
28:33
Oh, you're not Jonathan, so don't go pretending you are.
28:36
You just get out of here.
28:37
But I am Jonathan, and this is Dr. Einstein.
28:39
And he's not Dr. Einstein either.
28:42
Not Dr. Albert Einstein, Dr. Herman Einstein.
28:46
Who are you?
28:47
You are not our nephew Jonathan.
28:49
I see you're still wearing the lovely garret ring
28:51
that grown on a booster for you in England.
28:53
And you, and Martha,
28:55
so the high collar of grandfather's acid burned you.
28:58
His voice sounds like Jonathan's.
29:00
Have you...
29:01
It's not an accident.
29:02
No, my face.
29:03
Dr. Ironside is responsible for that.
29:05
He's a plastic surgeon.
29:07
He changes people's faces.
29:09
But I've seen that face before.
29:10
Oh, Abby, remember when I took the little Schultz boy to the movies
29:13
and I was so scared?
29:14
It was that face.
29:17
Easy, Chani, easy.
29:18
It's all right, ladies.
29:20
It's the last five years.
29:21
I give Chani three new faces.
29:24
I give him another one right away.
29:26
And Val, this last one, I...
29:29
I saw that face, too.
29:30
And just before I operated, I was intoxicated.
29:34
You see, doctor, you see what you've done to me, even my own family.
29:37
Chani, you're home in this lovely house.
29:40
How often he tells me about Brooklyn, about his aunt, about this house,
29:46
about the aunt that he loves very much.
29:48
Then you know you, Chani.
29:49
You know, it's Jonathan.
29:52
Speak to him.
29:53
Tell him so.
29:54
Well, Jonathan, it's been a really long time.
29:57
you've been doing all these years.
29:58
Yes, Jonathan, where have you been?
30:00
Oh, England, South Africa, Australia.
30:03
The last time I was in Chicago,
30:04
Dr. Einstein and I were in business there together.
30:06
Oh, we were in Chicago for the World's Fair.
30:08
Yes, we found Chicago awfully warm.
30:11
Yeah, it's got thoughts for us, too.
30:14
Well, it's wonderful to be in Brooklyn again.
30:16
And you, Abby, Martha, just as I remembered you.
30:21
Sweet, charming, hospitable.
30:25
And dear Teddy, did he get into politics?
30:27
Oh, my little brother, Doctor, was determined to become president.
30:30
Oh, yes, Teddy's fine, just fine.
30:33
Mortimer's quite well, too.
30:34
I know about Mortimer.
30:35
A dramatic critic.
30:37
He's evidently fulfilled his promise of his early nasty nature.
30:41
We're very fond of Mortimer.
30:43
Well, Jonathan, it's very nice to have seen you again.
30:46
Bless you, Aunt Martha.
30:47
It's good to be home.
30:48
Well, Martha, we must let what's on the stove boil over.
30:54
Yes, Jonathan, if you'll excuse us for a minute, unless you're in a hurry to go somewhere.
31:00
Oh, and Jonathan, if you'd like to wash up, you can use the bathroom in Grandfather's old laboratory.
31:05
Grandfather's laboratory? That large warden's attic? Ten beds, Doctor, and practically everybody
31:10
in Brooklyn needs a new face.
31:12
Take it easy, Chani. Your aunts, they don't vent us here.
31:15
We're here for dinner, aren't we?
31:16
Yeah, but after dinner?
31:18
Leave it to me, Doctor. But this house has been our headquarters for years.
31:22
That would be beautiful.
31:23
This Nascarthouse, those ants appear as much as ladies.
31:26
I love them already.
31:27
I get the bags, yeah?
31:29
Doctor, we must wait until we're invited.
31:31
And we must find a place for Mr. Spinazzo, too.
31:34
But if they say no?
31:36
Leave it to me, Doctor.
31:38
I mean, wow, this place has been high-grown for years.
31:42
That would be beautiful.
31:43
This Nascarthouse...
31:47
That would be beautiful.
31:52
This house makes house so perfect for us. It's so peaceful.
31:56
Yeah, so peaceful.
32:06
Charge!
32:30
Well, Jonathan, you've led a very interesting life, I'm sure, but we really shouldn't have
32:34
allowed you to talk so late.
32:35
My meeting, Dr. Ironside, I'm right today, changed the whole course of my life.
32:39
I was in South Africa and Australia.
32:40
I wanted to go back to South Africa, and Dr. Ironside, were that possible for me?
32:44
A good job, Chandler.
32:45
But when they take off the bandages, he looks so different.
32:48
The nurse had to introduce me.
32:50
I love that face.
32:51
I still carry the picture with me.
32:54
This is more the way you used to look, but I still don't think I'd recognize you.
32:58
I think we'll go back to that face, Doctor.
33:00
Yeah, it's safe now.
33:03
Well, I know you both want to get to wherever it is you're going.
33:06
My dear aunt, I'm so full of that delicious dinner, I couldn't move a muscle.
33:10
Yeah, it's nice here.
33:12
After all, it's very late.
33:13
And I found it, I found it
33:15
What did you find, Teddy?
33:16
The story of my life, my biography
33:18
Here's the picture I was telling you about, General
33:20
That's me, and that's you
33:22
My, how I've changed
33:23
Well, you see, that picture hasn't been taken yet
33:26
And now, General, we'll both go to Panama and inspect the new lock
33:29
No, Teddy, not to Panama
33:31
If we go some other time, Panama's a long way off
33:34
Well, it's just on the cellar
33:36
The cellar?
33:37
We let him dig the Panama Canal in the cellar
33:39
General Gothels, I demand that you go and inspect the new command
33:41
canal. Doctor, er, Teddy, I think it's time you went to bed. I beg your
33:46
pardon. Who are you? I'm
33:48
Wilder Wilson. Go to bed. No, you're not Wilson. Let's see, you are familiar.
33:54
Ah, yes, on my
33:55
hunting trip to Africa, you look like someone I might meet in the jungle. It's your brother,
33:59
Jonathan, dear. He had his face changed. So that's it, a nature faker. And perhaps you had better get
34:04
to bed, Teddy. Jonathan and his friend need to go back to their hotel. General Gothels, inspect the
34:09
Mr. President, we go to Panama.
34:11
Bully, follow me, General.
34:13
It's down south, you know.
34:17
Well, bon voyage.
34:19
And, Abby, you spoke of a hotel.
34:21
We have no hotel.
34:23
We came directly here.
34:24
Well, there's a very nice little hotel, just three...
34:26
And, Martha, this is my home.
34:28
No, but, Jonathan, you can't stay here.
34:30
We need our rooms for our lodgers.
34:32
Are there lodgers in this house?
34:33
Well, not just now.
34:34
We plan to have some.
34:35
Then my old room is still free.
34:37
But then there's no room for...
34:38
Dr. Einstein will share a room with me.
34:40
No, Jonathan, I'm afraid you don't understand.
34:42
You can't stay here.
34:44
Dr. Einstein and I need a place to sleep.
34:46
It wouldn't be very pleasant for any of us if...
34:48
Perhaps it's...
34:49
We'd better let them stay here, just for tonight.
34:52
Well, all right, only for tonight.
34:53
Please get my room ready, then.
34:55
It only needs airing out.
34:56
We should keep it ready to show our lodgers.
34:59
I hope you and Dr. Einstein find it comfortable.
35:02
Dr. Einstein's skill, I'm afraid you don't appreciate it.
35:04
But you will.
35:06
a few weeks, you'll see me looking like a very different
35:08
Jonathan. He can't operate on you here.
35:10
And once we get organized, oh, I forgot
35:12
to tell you. We're turning grandfather's
35:14
laboratory into an operating room.
35:15
But Jonathan, we will not let you turn this house into
35:18
a hospital. A hospital?
35:20
Heavens no. We're turning it
35:22
into a beauty parlor.
35:25
Hey, Johnny,
35:25
down in the cell. What?
35:27
It's a pen.
35:29
Doctor, my aunt's provided us to live with them.
35:31
Oh, you fixed it?
35:32
Well, you're staying here tonight.
35:34
Please get my remote immediately
35:36
Well
35:37
For tonight
35:39
Hey Johnny, down in the cellar
35:41
The Panama Canal
35:42
The Panama Canal?
35:44
It's just this Mrs. Finanza
35:46
It's a hotel
35:49
It's six feet long and four feet wide
35:52
Down there?
35:53
You'd think we were bringing Mrs. Finanza along
35:55
That's hospitality
35:57
Rather a good joke on my aunts
35:59
Than living in a house with a dead body bear in the cellar
36:02
How do we get him in?
36:04
Yes, we can't just walk him through the door.
36:06
We'll take Mr. Spinozzo and take the car out between the house and the cemetery.
36:10
Then, as we've gone to bed, we can bring Mr. Spinozzo and jump him in the cellar.
36:15
Beds, just sink. We've got to bed tonight.
36:18
Easy, Doctor. Remember, you're operating tomorrow.
36:21
I fix you up beautiful.
36:23
And if you don't?
36:25
I'm just ready.
36:27
Oh, then you two can run along to bed.
36:29
We'll just bring the heart.
36:30
the car behind the house. It's fine where it is
36:32
until morning. I don't want to leave it in the street.
36:34
That might be against the law.
36:40
Abby, what are we going to do? Oh, I don't know,
36:42
but we can't let them stay for more than one night
36:44
necessary in this house, that's for sure.
36:46
I mean, what are we going to do about Mr. Hoskins?
36:49
I don't know, but what are we going
36:50
to do about Mr. What are we going to do
36:52
about Mr. Hoskins? I don't know, but
36:54
it can't be very comfortable for him in there.
36:56
He's been so patient, the poor dear.
36:58
I think Teddy, I think it's time Teddy brings him down to Panama, if I tell you the truth.
37:02
Abby, I will not invite Jonathan to the funeral services.
37:04
Oh, no. We'll wait till he and Dr. Einstein have gone to bed.
37:07
Then we'll come up and hold the services.
37:08
Ah, yes.
37:10
Wait, please. He says Canal is just the right size.
37:13
Teddy. Oh, Teddy, there's been another yellow fever victim.
37:15
Oh, dear me. This will be a shock to the general.
37:17
Then we mustn't tell him about it.
37:19
But it's his department.
37:20
No, Teddy, we can't tell him.
37:22
Is this going to be a state secret?
37:24
Yes. State secret, exactly.
37:26
Oh, my God. Well, let's see. How are you going to do this?
37:30
Well, you go back down in the cellar, and when I turn out the lights, when it's all dark,
37:34
you come right back up and you bring the gentleman down to the cellar.
37:37
And we'll come down later to hold the services.
37:40
You may announce the president has a few words.
37:42
Where is the poor devil?
37:43
He's in the window seat.
37:44
It seems to be spreading. We've never had it down there before.
37:50
Let's see if we can get Jonathan and Dr. Einstein to go straight to bed.
37:55
And then we'll be all dressed and ready for the funeral.
37:58
Abby, I haven't even seen Mr. Hoskins.
38:00
Oh, that's right. You were out.
38:01
You can come over and see him now.
38:03
He's really quite nice looking, considering he's a Methodist.
38:06
We'll bring the luggage in through here.
38:08
Jonathan, your room is ready. You can go right up.
38:10
I'm afraid we won't keep Brooklyn hours, but you two run along to bed.
38:13
Well, you must be very tired, and we don't go to sleep this early.
38:16
Well, you should. It's time I came home to take care of you.
38:19
We weren't planning to go to bed until...
38:22
Did you hear me say go to bed?
38:24
The instruments can go to the laboratory in the morning.
38:27
Now then, we're all going to bed.
38:32
I'll wait till you're up, then I'll turn out the lights.
38:34
Run along it, Martha.
38:36
Or in Abby.
38:37
I'll be right up.
38:39
Turn out the lights.
39:16
All right, Jenny.
39:18
Uh, you go around, um, you go around
39:23
and pan him through.
39:25
Uh, uh, no, Chani, he's too heavy for me.
39:29
You go outside and you push.
39:30
I stay here and pull.
39:32
And two guys are big, gets him down to them.
39:34
All right.
39:35
Um, all right.
39:38
One top of the glass, you open the window.
39:40
All right.
39:53
who left this open thank you okay are
40:00
you wait a minute we lost a leg somewhere
40:05
alright I got him he
40:11
shook him up
40:22
Chani, there's someone at the door.
40:24
No, I meant it's here.
40:26
Go, quick.
40:31
Miss Abby, Miss Martha.
40:36
Who is it?
40:37
Is that you, Teddy?
40:39
Who are you?
40:41
I'm Elaine Harper.
40:42
Sure. I came over to see Miss Abby and Miss Martha.
40:45
Turn on the lights, Doctor.
40:47
You chose a rather timely moment for a social call.
40:49
I think you'd better explain what you're doing here.
40:51
We happen to live here.
40:53
You don't live here. I'm in this house every day, and I've never seen you before.
40:56
Where is Miss Abby and Miss Martha? What have you done to them?
40:59
Perhaps we'd better introduce ourselves. This is Dr. Einstein.
41:02
Dr. Einstein?
41:03
A surgeon of great distinction.
41:05
And something of a magician.
41:07
And I suppose you're going to tell me you're born...
41:08
I'm Jonathan Brewster.
41:09
Oh, you're Jonathan.
41:11
I see you've heard of me.
41:12
And what did they say about me?
41:13
Only that there was another brother named Jonathan.
41:15
That's all that was said.
41:16
Well, that explains everything.
41:17
I'll be running along back home now.
41:21
If you'll kindly unlock the door.
41:27
That explains everything.
41:29
Just, what do you mean by that?
41:30
Why did he come around at this time of night?
41:32
I thought I saw someone prowling around the house.
41:34
I suppose it was you.
41:35
You thought I saw someone prowling around the house?
41:37
Yes, isn't that your car?
41:39
saw someone at the car? Yes. What else did you
41:41
see? Just someone walking around the house to the
41:43
car. What else did you see? Just that. That's all.
41:45
That's the way I came over here. I wanted to tell
41:47
Miss Abby to call the police, but if that was
41:49
you and that's your car, I don't need to bother
41:50
Miss Abby. I'll be running along. What was the man doing
41:53
in the car? I don't know. I was on my way over
41:55
here. I think you're lying. I think
41:57
she's telling the truth, Jenny.
41:59
Can we let her go now? I think she's lying.
42:01
I think she's dangerous. She shouldn't
42:03
be allowed around loose. Take your hands off
42:05
me. Doctor.
42:07
...private funeral.
42:08
Teddy, Teddy, tell these men who I...
42:11
...I don't know, Teddy.
42:13
Doctor, your handkerchief.
42:16
The cellar.
42:22
What's the matter? What's going on down there?
42:24
Um, we caught a burglar. A sneak thief.
42:27
You two run along to bed.
42:28
We'll call the police.
42:29
We already called the police. We'll handle this.
42:31
You two go to bed.
42:36
Mortimer, where have you been?
42:37
To the North Bay's theater, and I should have known better.
42:40
My God, I'm still there.
42:43
It's your brother, Jonathan, dear.
42:45
Yet his face changed.
42:47
I know this isn't a nightmare, but what is it?
42:49
I've come back home, Mortimer.
42:51
Who did you say this was?
42:52
Your brother, Jonathan.
42:55
Jonathan, you always were a whore, but did you need to look like one?
42:59
Mortimer, have you ever forgotten the things I used to do when you were boys?
43:02
The need.
43:03
those under your fingernails it is jonathan yes i remember i remember you as
43:08
the most detestable
43:09
vicious venomous form of animal life i have ever known don't you two boys start quarreling the
43:14
minute you've seen each other there won't be any fight aunt abby jonathan you're not wanted here
43:18
get out well we did invite them to stay the night and it wouldn't be very nice to go back on our
43:22
word all right tonight first thing in the morning out where are they sleeping we put them in jonathan's
43:27
old room that's my old room i'm sleeping i'm sleeping that room i'm here to stay
43:31
Oh, Mortimer, I'm so glad.
43:33
Chani, we sleep down here.
43:35
Your life you sleep down here.
43:37
You sleep on the sofa, and I sleep on the window seat.
43:40
Well, let's not argue about it.
43:42
The window seat's good enough for me tonight.
43:43
I'll sleep on the window seat.
43:45
You know, Chani, all this argument is reminding me of Mr. Spinoza.
43:50
Oh, not Mortimer.
43:51
It really isn't necessary for you to inconvenience yourself like this.
43:54
We'll leave down here tonight.
43:56
Jonathan, your sudden consideration for me is very unconvincing.
44:01
Come on, Chani. Let's get those things from the room, eh?
44:04
Don't bother, doctor.
44:06
By the way, doctor, I've completely lost track of Mr. Spinalzo.
44:09
Who says Mr. Spinalzo?
44:11
It's just a friend of ours Chani's been looking for.
44:13
Well, don't bring anyone else in here.
44:16
Come on, Chani.
44:17
Velvie pack, I tell you all about it.
44:21
Look, Mortimer, there's really no need to inconvenience you.
44:24
You can go sleep in my room, and I can go in with Martha.
44:26
No trouble at all.
44:27
Abby, we'll be back in a few minutes.
44:29
Then you can have the room, Mortimer.
44:30
You're just wasting your time.
44:31
I told you, I'm sleeping down here.
44:34
What's the matter, darling?
44:35
I've almost been killed.
44:36
You've almost been...
44:37
Abby!
44:39
No, it was Jonathan.
44:41
He thought she was a burglar.
44:42
No, it was more than that.
44:43
He's some kind of maniac.
44:45
Mortimer, I'm afraid of him.
44:46
Darling, you're trembling.
44:47
Have you gotten any smelling salts?
44:49
No, but do you think some hot tea, coffee?
44:51
Make some for me, too.
44:52
And some sandwiches.
44:53
I haven't had dinner.
44:54
Make something for...
44:55
both of you. Why don't you remember we want to celebrate your engagement? And that's just what
44:59
we'll do. We can leave our hats downstairs here now, Abby. All right. Where are you going somewhere?
45:03
Where are you going somewhere? Do you know what time it is? It's almost 12. 12? Elaine, you've got
45:07
to go home. What? But no, we were just going to make some sandwiches for both of you. Sit down.
45:13
Oh, and we'll open a bottle of wine. All right. No wine. Mortimer,
45:18
what's going on in this house?
45:20
What do you mean what's going on in this house? You were supposed to take me to dinner in this
45:23
theater tonight. You called it off. You asked me to marry you. I said I would, and five minutes
45:27
later, you threw me out of the house. Tonight, just after your brother tries to strangle me,
45:31
you want to chase me home. Now listen, Mr. Brewster. Before I go home, I want to know
45:35
where I stand. Do you love me? I love you very much, Elaine. In fact, I love you so much,
45:40
I can't marry you. Have you suddenly gone crazy? I don't think so, but it's just a matter of time.
45:45
You see, insanity runs my family. A practical gallops. That's why I can't marry you, dear.
45:50
Now wait a minute. You've got to do better.
45:51
than that. No, there's a strange taint in the Brewster blood. Now, just because Teddy's a little...
45:55
No, it goes back to the first Brewster. The one who came over on the Mayflower. It was Nina
45:59
the Pinta? Santa the Cuckoo. Mortimer, that's ancient history. No, the whole family. Take
46:05
my
46:05
grandfather, for example. He tried his patent medicines out on dead people to make sure he
46:10
wouldn't kill them. He wasn't so crazy. He made a million dollars. And there's Jonathan, too. You
46:15
just said he was a maniac. He tried to kill you. But he's your brother, not you. I'm in love with you.
46:19
And then there's Teddy. You know Teddy. He thinks he's Roosevelt.
46:23
No dear, no Brewster should marry. I've realized now that if I'd met my father in time, I'd have stopped him.
46:28
Now darling, all this doesn't prove that you're crazy.
46:31
Look at your aunts. They're Brewsters, aren't they? And the sanest, sweetest people I've ever known.
46:35
Well, even they have their, um, peculiarities.
46:40
Yes, what lovely peculiarities. Kindness, generosity, human sympathy.
46:46
There's another one.
46:47
Mortimer, there are plenty of others. You can't tell me anything about your aunt.
46:50
I'm not going to. Look, Elaine, something very important has just come up.
46:54
Up from where? We're here, alone together.
46:56
I know I'm acting irrationally, but put it down to the fact that I'm a mad rooster.
47:00
If you think you're going to get out of this by pretending you're insane, you're crazy.
47:04
Maybe you're not going to marry me, but I'm going to marry you. I love you, you dope.
47:08
Well, if you love me, will you get out of here?
47:10
At least take me home, won't you? I'm afraid.
47:13
Afraid? A little walk to the cemetery? Good night.
47:16
Elaine. I'll call you up in the morning. You, you
47:20
Aunt Abby, Aunt Marfa, come in here.
47:22
We'll be in in a minute, dear. Come in here
47:24
now.
47:26
What's the matter? Where's Elaine?
47:28
Who's that in the window seat? We told you, Mr.
47:30
Hoskins. That is not
47:32
Mr. Hoskins. Well, who
47:34
can that be? Aunt Abby, are you trying to tell me
47:36
you've never seen this man before? That is exactly
47:38
what I'm trying to tell you. Why, this is a fine
47:39
how do you do? It's getting so anybody thinks
47:41
he can walk in here. Aunt Abby.
47:44
Aunt Abby, you admitted to me that you put Mr. Hoskins in the window seat.
47:47
Yes, I did.
47:48
Well, you couldn't have just gotten the idea from Mr. Hoskins.
47:50
By the way, where is Mr. Hoskins?
47:52
He must have gone down to Panama.
47:53
Oh, you buried him?
47:54
No, not yet. He's just down there waiting for the services, the poor dear.
47:57
We haven't had a minute, what with Jonathan in the house.
48:00
I mean, we've always wanted to hold a double funeral,
48:03
but I will not read services over a complete stranger.
48:06
A stranger? Aunt Abby, how can I believe you?
48:08
There are twelve men in our cellar, and you admit you poisoned them.
48:12
I did, but you don't think I'd stoop to tell a fib, do you?
48:16
Oh, Mortimer, I'd like to have a word with you.
48:18
A word's about all you'll have time for, Jonathan.
48:21
You and your doctor friend are going to get out of here and get just as far away as possible.
48:29
Your situation, I think you're right with the wrong situation.
48:32
Take your suitcases and get out.
48:34
Jonathan, you're starting to bore me. Move on.
48:37
Mortimer, just because you graduated from the top fence of the typewriter, don't...
48:40
think you've grown up i'm saying and you're leaving and i mean now if you think i can be
48:45
frightened if you think there's anything i fear mortimer i've lived a strange life but it's taught
48:49
me one thing to be afraid of nothing oh look what's in the window seat now
48:54
aunt abby
49:00
jonathan let aunt martha see what's in the window seat
49:04
aunt abby i owe you an apology but i have very good news for you jonathan
49:08
Mr. Jonathan and Dr. Isar are going to be leaving and taking their cold companion with
49:13
them.
49:14
Jonathan, you're my brother. You're Brewster.
49:16
I'm giving you the chance to get out of here and take the evidence with you.
49:19
You can't ask for more than that.
49:21
Very well. In that case, I'll just have to call the police.
49:23
Mortimer, don't reach that telephone.
49:26
Are you still giving me orders after seeing what's happened to Mr. Spinalzo?
49:30
Remember, what happened to Mr. Spinalzo could happen to you, too.
49:41
Come in, Officer O'Hara.
49:43
Hello, Miss Abby.
49:45
How, what can we do for you?
49:47
Oh, I saw your lights on and thought there must be sickness in the house.
49:50
Oh, we've got company. I'm sorry to disturb you.
49:52
No, no, come right in.
49:53
Yes, come on in, Officer O'Hara.
49:54
Yes, come on, Officer O'Hara. This is our nephew, Mortimer.
49:57
Pleased to meet you.
49:58
And that's our other nephew, Jonathan.
50:00
Pleased to meet your acquaintance.
50:02
Say, it must be nice having your nephews visiting you.
50:04
I'm going to be staying with you for a bit.
50:06
My brother Jonathan was just leaving.
50:10
I've met you before, haven't I?
50:12
I'm afraid not.
50:13
Jonathan hasn't been home for years.
50:14
Your face is familiar to me.
50:16
Maybe I've seen a photo of you somewhere?
50:18
I don't think so.
50:19
Yes, I'd hurry if I were you, Jonathan.
50:21
You think they're all packed anyways, aren't they?
50:23
Well, you'll be wanting to say your goodbyes.
50:24
I'll be running along now.
50:26
What's the rush?
50:26
I'd like to have you sit around until my brother goes.
50:28
I just dropped in to make sure everything was all right.
50:31
We're going to have coffee in a minute.
50:32
Oh, I forgot the coffee.
50:34
I better make some more sandwiches.
50:35
I ought to know your appetite by this time, Officer O'Hara.
50:38
Oh, don't bother.
50:39
I'm due to ring in in a few minutes.
50:41
You can have some coffee with us.
50:42
My brother's just going.
50:43
Say, ain't I seen a picture of your brother around here someplace?
50:47
I don't think so.
50:47
He certainly reminds me of somebody.
50:49
He looks like someone you've probably seen in the movies.
50:52
Oh, I never go to movies.
50:53
I hate him.
50:54
My mother hates him, too.
50:55
Your mother, eh?
50:56
Yep, my mother is an actress, a stage actress.
50:59
Perhaps you've heard of her?
51:00
was the tour her big hit was mutton jeff played it for three years i was born on tour third season
51:05
you were yep sioux city iowa i was born in the dressing room at the end of the second act
51:10
my mother made the finale what a trooper there must be a good story on your mother you know
51:15
i write about the theater you do say you're not more of a brewster the dramatic critic yes
51:21
well
51:21
i certainly am glad to meet you say mr brewster we're in the same line of business we are yep
51:27
i'm a playwright oh
51:28
being on the police force is just temporary.
51:30
How long have you been on the force?
51:32
Twelve years. I'm collecting material for a play
51:34
I'm writing. You know, Mr. Brewster,
51:36
with all the drama I see of being a cop,
51:38
you have no idea what goes on the streets on Brooklyn.
51:41
I think I do.
51:43
Say, what time you got?
51:44
Ten after one. Oh, gee, I gotta
51:46
ring in. Wait a minute. Alright, this play
51:48
of yours, I might be able to help you write it.
51:50
You do? Say, it was
51:52
luck me walking in here tonight. Look, I'll tell you
51:59
It's a really interesting play.
52:00
I'm just telling you.
52:02
How long is it up?
52:03
Oh, you're leaving?
52:04
Oh, you're leaving now, Jonathan.
52:06
You haven't got much time, you know.
52:11
Huh, Jonathan?
52:12
Well, goodbye.
52:14
Oh, don't those suitcases belong to you?
52:16
Yes, Jonathan.
52:17
You can't leave without all your things.
52:19
Now, Harrah, it was nice meeting you.
52:21
We'll see each other some other time,
52:22
and we'll talk about your play.
52:23
Oh, I'm not leaving.
52:24
Mr Brewster. Why not? Well, you just offered to help me in my play. You and me are going to write
52:29
it together. Ohara, I'm not a creative writer. I'll do the creating. You just put the words to it.
52:34
But, Ohara... No, I ain't leaving this house till I tell you the plot.
52:38
And that gets more than me. We'll be running along. Don't try that. You can't leave without
52:42
everything, you know. Ohara, my brother's just leaving. I can wait. I haven't been waiting 12
52:47
years. Don't bring that in here. Ohara, won't
52:52
you join us?
52:52
or a bite in the kitchen.
52:54
Jonathan's leaving.
52:55
Oh, that's nice.
52:56
Come on, Officer O'Hara.
52:57
You sure you don't mind
52:58
eating in the kitchen,
52:59
Officer O'Hara?
52:59
And what else would he eat?
53:01
I'm glad you came back
53:02
to Brooklyn, Jonathan,
53:03
because it gives me a chance
53:04
to throw you back out.
53:06
And the first one now
53:07
is your boyfriend,
53:08
Mr. Spinozzo.
53:13
I might have no need to grow up.
53:13
Hey, Mr. Brewster,
53:14
we can talk in here.
53:15
Be in right there.
53:17
I might have no need to grow up
53:18
trying to play with a policeman.
53:20
Get going now.
53:21
three of you. Doctor,
53:23
this affair between me and my brother has got
53:25
to be settled. Chani, we got
53:27
trouble enough. Your brother gives
53:29
us a chance to get away. What more
53:30
could you ask? You don't understand, Doctor.
53:33
This goes back a great
53:34
many years. Now, Chani,
53:37
let's get going. No, we're not going.
53:39
We're going to the pier tonight.
53:40
We should cop in the kitchen and if there's been also
53:43
in the window seat? That's all he's
53:45
got on us. We'll take Mrs. Benalza and dump him
53:47
in the bay. And then if they try to interfere...
53:49
Doctor, you know when to make up my mind.
53:52
Yeah, when you make up your mind, you lose your head.
53:54
Brooklyn ain't a good place for you.
53:59
Okay, we stick together.
54:01
Someday we get stuck together.
54:03
And if we're coming back here, do we got to bring these with us?
54:06
No, leave them here.
54:07
Move fast.
54:08
Mr. Spinal is going to come in the same way he came in.
54:11
He can come out the same way he came in.
54:17
Hey, Tommy, come quick.
54:21
You know that Dolan's a cellar?
54:23
We got the nice in the hall.
54:24
Come, I'll show you.
54:37
Yes, Mortimer?
54:38
Where have you been?
54:39
I thought I told you to get...
54:40
We're not going.
54:41
We're going to see Pierce tonight.
54:43
Oh, you're not going, aren't you?
54:45
You think I'm not serious about this?
54:46
Do you want O'Hara to know what's in that window seat?
54:48
We're staying here.
54:52
Besides, this gets rid of both you and O'Hara.
54:55
Officer O'Hara, come in here.
54:56
If you tell O'Hara what's in the window seat, I'll tell him what's down in the cellar.
55:00
There's an elderly gentleman down there who seems to be very dead.
55:04
What were you doing down in the cellar?
55:05
What is he doing down in the cellar?
55:08
No, thanks, ma'am.
55:09
I've had plenty.
55:11
Now what were you going to say to O'Hara?
55:13
Mr. Brewster, your aunts want to hear it too.
55:15
Shall I get them in here?
55:16
No, Ahara, you've got to go ring in.
55:18
The heck with ringing in.
55:19
I'll get your aunts in here and I'll tell you the plot.
55:22
No, Ahara, not in front of all these people.
55:24
We'll meet up someplace later.
55:25
How about the back room at Kelly's?
55:27
Sure, we'll meet at Kelly's, but you're going to ring in on the way.
55:29
How are we to go down to the cellar?
55:32
That's all right with me.
55:33
Is this the cellar?
55:33
No, no, no.
55:35
We'll talk at Kelly's, but you are going to ring in on the way.
55:38
All right, that'll only take a couple of minutes.
55:42
I'll ditch this guy and be back in a minute.
55:43
I'll expect to see you gone.
55:45
Wait for me.
55:47
We'll wait for him, Doctor.
55:48
I've waited a great many years for a chance like this.
55:51
We got some red berry bunting.
55:53
Did you look guilty?
55:55
Have they gone?
55:56
We thought we heard somebody leave.
55:58
Just Mortimer, and I'll be back in a few minutes.
56:00
Is there any food left in the kitchen?
56:01
I think Dr. Einstein and I would enjoy a bite.
56:04
We won't have any time.
56:05
No, if you're still here when Mortimer comes back, he won't like it.
56:07
Get us something to eat while we bury Mr.
56:09
Spinalzo. No, more no. Jonathan, you have to leave and take
56:14
Mr. Spinalzo with you.
56:17
Mr. Spinalzo, but Mr. Spinalzo, he
56:22
is, is Mr. Hoskins a stranger? Mr. Hoskins isn't a stranger.
56:26
What is he doing in the cellar? There are other graves down there too. Others?
56:31
What do you mean?
56:32
There are 12 graves down there. 12 graves? Yes.
56:37
So you mean, you and Aunt Martha have murdered?
56:41
Murdered? Certainly not. It's one of our charities.
56:44
Why, what I've been doing has been a mercy.
56:46
You've done that in this house, and you bury them down there?
56:52
Chani, we've traveled all over the world, and they stay right here in Brooklyn, and they're
56:57
just as good as you do.
56:59
You've got 12. They've got 12.
57:02
I've got 13.
57:03
And they're Chinese 12.
57:05
I've got 13. There's Mr. Spinalzo, the first one in London, two in Johannesburg,
57:11
one in Sydney, one in Melbourne, three in Phoenix, Arizona.
57:15
The filling station, the one in South Bend, and the three in Chicago. That makes 13.
57:20
But you can't count with one in South Bend. He died from pneumonia.
57:24
He wouldn't have died in pneumonia if I hadn't shot him.
57:26
No, Charlie, he died from pneumonia. He don't count.
57:29
He counts with me. I say 13.
57:31
No, Charlie, you got 12.
57:33
They got twelve.
57:35
The old ladies are just as good as you are.
57:38
Well, that's easily settled.
57:40
All I need is one more.
57:41
Just one more.
57:43
Well, here I am.
58:07
Thank you.
59:52
Let's get started.
59:58
We'll be right back.
1:00:28
Thank you.
1:11:39
You stopped doing it.
1:11:42
No, stop.
1:11:45
You'll find out whose house this is.
1:11:47
I'm warning you, you'd better stop that.
1:11:50
Hasn't Mortimer come back yet?
1:11:53
Where do you think he went?
1:11:54
I don't know, but we must be doing something,
1:11:56
because he said to Jonathan, you just wait.
1:11:59
I'll settle this.
1:11:59
Well, he can't settle anything if he's out of the house.
1:12:03
Abby, I will not have my cellar desecrated.
1:12:11
Honestly, oh, we better go tell Jonathan
1:12:13
that he has to leave now, huh?
1:12:15
I mean, I guess so, but, well, no, without Mortimer here,
1:12:18
it doesn't make any sense.
1:12:19
Even if we go, he won't listen to us.
1:12:22
I think we better just go.
1:12:26
Where's Hedy?
1:12:26
Mortimer, where have you been?
1:12:28
I've been over to Dr. Gilchrist.
1:12:30
I've got his signatures on Hedy's commitment papers.
1:12:32
Is Teddy in his room?
1:12:33
Once he signs these papers, I can tackle Jonathan.
1:12:35
What have the papers got to do with anything?
1:12:37
If I can make Teddy responsible for those 12 graves in the cellar,
1:12:40
I can protect you, don't you see?
1:12:41
No, I don't see.
1:12:42
And we pay taxes to have the police protect us.
1:12:45
Mortimer, you've got to get Jonathan out of this house.
1:12:47
And Mr. Spinazzo, too.
1:12:49
Why can't you let me do this my own way?
1:12:51
I've got to see Teddy.
1:12:52
Mortimer, if they're not out of here by morning,
1:12:53
we're going to call the police.
1:12:54
He'll be out, I promise you that.
1:12:56
Go to bed, won't you?
1:12:57
And get out of those clothes.
1:12:59
You look like Judah's an...
1:13:00
Anderson. Well, Abby, that's a relief, isn't it? I suppose so.
1:13:05
Maybe now it is time we go tell
1:13:06
Jonathan to get out. Jonathan, you might as
1:13:11
well stop what you're doing. It's done. Did I hear
1:13:14
Mortimer? Well, it will just have to be undone. Jonathan, Mortimer said you're leaving.
1:13:20
Well,
1:13:20
then you can, oh, are we? In that case, you two can run along to bed. Come,
1:13:25
Abby. Good enough. Goodbye,
1:13:29
Not goodnight, Jonathan. Goodbye.
1:13:31
By the time we're up, you'll be out of this house. Mortimer's promised.
1:13:34
And he has a way of doing it, too.
1:13:35
Then Mortimer's back?
1:13:36
Oh, yes. He's upstairs now, talking to Teddy.
1:13:38
Oh, then you'd better say goodbye to Mortimer, too.
1:13:41
No, you'll see Mortimer.
1:13:42
Yes, I'll see Mortimer.
1:13:45
Goodbye, Jonathan.
1:13:53
That's all fixed up. Smooch like a leg.
1:13:56
Nobody would ever know if we were down there.
1:13:58
Forty-eight hours we didn't sleep.
1:14:01
Come on, Chani, let's get to bed, eh?
1:14:04
You're forgetting, Doctor.
1:14:06
My brother, Mortimer.
1:14:09
Chani, we do that tomorrow.
1:14:11
It's the next day.
1:14:12
No, we're doing it tonight.
1:14:14
Chani, not tonight.
1:14:16
And tomorrow I've got to operate.
1:14:18
You're right, yes, Doctor, you're operating tomorrow.
1:14:19
But tonight we take care of Mortimer.
1:14:21
Chani, please, let's get to bed, eh?
1:14:24
Doctor you can see it's going to be done can't you yes I see I know that look
1:14:29
it's a little late for us to dissolve our partnership okay we
1:14:34
do it but the
1:14:35
quick way I like the quick twist like in London no doctor I
1:14:40
think it's called
1:14:40
for something special I think perhaps the Melbourne method
1:14:45
Johnny not that two hours and then it's got all over but
1:14:50
it's the felon
1:14:52
And it was just as dead as the fellow in Melbourne.
1:14:55
We had no aesthetic satisfaction in Melbourne, or in
1:15:00
London, but in Melbourne, that was something
1:15:02
to remember.
1:15:04
I wish I didn't.
1:15:06
No, Chani, not Melbourne, not me.
1:15:08
Yes, Doctor, where are your instruments?
1:15:11
I won't do it, Chani, I won't do it.
1:15:13
Yes, where have you put them?
1:15:16
They're in the cellar, aren't they?
1:15:18
I'll find them.
1:15:23
Don't do that, Mr. President.
1:15:25
But I can't sign a proclamation without calling a cabinet meeting.
1:15:28
But this must be a secret.
1:15:29
A secret proclamation? How unusual.
1:15:31
Japan mustn't know until it's signed.
1:15:33
Japan, those devils! I'll sign it right away.
1:15:35
Yes, go and sign it.
1:15:36
Well, you'll have to go and wait here.
1:15:39
You know, a secret proclamation must be signed in secret.
1:15:42
Put it once, Mr. President.
1:15:43
Um, I'll just put on my signing clothes.
1:15:47
Oh, you...
1:15:48
Eh? No, doctor, I'm waiting for something. Something important.
1:15:53
No, you go. Now, doctor, I have no problem against you personally.
1:15:58
You seem like a very nice fellow. Take my advice and get out of here.
1:16:03
Trouble. Yeah. You get away quick.
1:16:06
I'm warning you.
1:16:08
I'm warning you. Get out.
1:16:10
Things are going to start popping around here any minute now.
1:16:14
Listen. Chinese in a bad mood.
1:16:16
When he's like this, he's a madman.
1:16:18
Things happen.
1:16:19
Terrible things.
1:16:21
Jonathan doesn't worry me now.
1:16:23
Ach, Himmel,
1:16:24
don't these plays you watch teach you anything.
1:16:27
About what?
1:16:28
Well, at least people in plays act like I got sense.
1:16:31
That's more than you do.
1:16:33
Oh, you think so, do you?
1:16:34
You think people in plays act intelligently?
1:16:36
I wish you had to sit through some of the ones I have to sit through.
1:16:39
Take the little opus I saw tonight, for example.
1:16:41
In this play, there's a man.
1:16:43
He, no, he's...
1:16:44
He's supposed to be bright. He knows he's in the house of murderers.
1:16:47
He's even been warned to get out. But did he go?
1:16:49
No, he says, right there. Now I ask you, doctor, is that what an intelligent person would do?
1:16:54
You're asking me?
1:16:56
He didn't even have enough sense to be frightened, to be on guard.
1:16:59
For instance, the murderer invites him to sit down.
1:17:01
You mean, won't you sit down?
1:17:04
Believe it or not, that one was in there, too.
1:17:07
What did he do?
1:17:08
He sat down.
1:17:09
Now mind you, doctor, this fellow's supposed to be bright.
1:17:12
So there he sits, just waiting to be dressed up.
1:17:15
And what do you think to use the time with?
1:17:17
The curtain cord.
1:17:19
Well, why not?
1:17:19
A good idea.
1:17:20
Very convenient.
1:17:21
A little too convenient.
1:17:23
When are playwrights going to use some imagination?
1:17:25
The curtain cord!
1:17:27
Did you see him get it?
1:17:28
See him?
1:17:29
He sat there with his back to him.
1:17:31
That's the stuff we have to sit through night after night.
1:17:33
And they say the playwrights are killing the theater.
1:17:36
It's the playwrights who are killing the theater.
1:17:37
So there he sits, the big dope.
1:17:39
This fellow who's supposed to be...
1:17:40
bright just waiting to be dressed up and gagged. Now Mortimer,
1:17:46
if you don't mind, we'll finish
1:17:47
the story. Mortimer, I've been away for 20 years, but never once in all that time were
1:17:53
you out of
1:17:53
my mind. Now doctor, we get to work. Chani, please, for me, the quick way.
1:17:58
No doctor, this really must
1:18:00
be an artistic achievement. After all, we'll perform before a very distinguished critic.
1:18:07
Oh, I got to have a
1:18:08
a drink. Pull yourself together, Doctor.
1:18:11
When we walked in here
1:18:13
this afternoon, it was fine.
1:18:15
Remember? Where did she
1:18:17
put that?
1:18:23
I split this with you. We both need
1:18:25
a drink. No, Doctor.
1:18:27
Where are your manners? Mortimer,
1:18:29
I realize now that
1:18:30
you brought me back to Brooklyn.
1:18:33
Doctor, it's my dear dead
1:18:34
brother.
1:18:38
Dang that idiot! He goes next! That's it! He goes next!
1:18:42
Johnny, not Teddy! That's where stoop! Not Teddy!
1:18:45
We get to Teddy later!
1:18:47
We don't get him at all!
1:18:48
No, Doctor. We've got to work fast.
1:18:51
Is Johnny the quick way?
1:18:52
Yes, Doctor. In a quick way.
1:18:55
Colonel's gotta quit blowing that horn!
1:18:58
Don't worry, Doctor. We're taking the bugle away from him.
1:19:01
I promised the neighbors he wouldn't do that anymore!
1:19:04
There's gonna be hectic!
1:19:05
pay in the morning. It won't happen again. It won't happen again, officer. Good night. I better
1:19:09
speak to myself. Hey, you stood me up. I waited an hour at Kelly's
1:19:14
for you. What, what happened
1:19:16
to him? Eh, he was just explaining to the play tonight. Eh, that's what happened to the fellow
1:19:21
in the play. Did that happen to the guy you saw in the play tonight? Gee, they practically stole
1:19:26
that from the second act of my play. Why, the second act just before that. All right. Ah,
1:19:32
yes.
1:19:33
Nah, you gotta hear the plot first. All right, my mother is sitting there,
1:19:38
making up, you see, you know,
1:19:40
just sitting in the dressing room where I was born, only I ain't born yet.
1:19:43
All right. All of a sudden, a man walks through the door in a man in a black hat,
1:19:48
and he says to her, Miss Latour, will you marry me? Only he doesn't know that she's pregnant.
1:20:18
all right she's laying there in her laundry across laying on cautions across the table
1:20:22
i tied them in chair just like you are all right the place is on fire it's an inferno of
1:20:27
flames
1:20:27
when all of a sudden through the window
1:20:29
In comes Mayor LaGuardia!
1:20:33
Hey, go easy on that.
1:20:35
Remember who paid for it.
1:20:36
Well, I'm listening, ain't there?
1:20:38
Well, how do you like it so far?
1:20:40
Well, it's with Chinese to sleep.
1:20:41
Ah, don't bother.
1:20:43
If he ain't got no interest, then he don't get a drink.
1:20:45
All right, it's three days later.
1:20:47
I'm transferred in under charges.
1:20:48
That's because somebody stole my badge.
1:20:51
All right, I'm walking my beat on Staten Island, 46th Precinct.
1:20:54
When it turns out the guy I'm following is actually following...
1:20:57
me. Don't let anybody in. I'll figure I'll smart him. There's a vacant house in the corner.
1:21:02
I goes
1:21:03
in. Chani, it's Caps. All right.
1:21:08
In the dark, I see the door handle turn. Chani, Caps. I pull out
1:21:12
my guns and say, come in. What the heck is going on here? Hello,
1:21:18
boys. What do you know, Pat? This
1:21:20
is Mortimer Brewster. He's helping me write my play. I'm just telling him the story. Did he have
1:21:25
Did you have to time up to make him listen?
1:21:28
You better report at the station.
1:21:29
The whole force is out looking for you.
1:21:31
Did they send you here for me?
1:21:32
We didn't know you was here.
1:21:33
We came to warn the old ladies that there's heck to pay.
1:21:36
The colonel blew that bugle again in the middle of the night.
1:21:38
By the way, neighbors have been calling in about it.
1:21:39
It seems like the Germans have been dropping bombs on Flatbush Avenue.
1:21:43
Gee, Mr. Brewster, I got to get away.
1:21:45
So I'll just run to the third act really quick.
1:21:47
Get away from me!
1:21:49
Say, do you know what time it is?
1:21:51
It's after 8 o'clock in the morning.
1:21:52
Gee, Mr. Brewster.
1:21:53
Brewster. Them first two acts run a little long, but I don't see anything we can leave out. Oh,
1:21:57
you could leave it all out. Who is this guy? That's my brother. The
1:22:03
one that ran away. So
1:22:04
he came back? Yes, he came back. This
1:22:10
is Brophy. Get me, Mac. I'd better let them know we found
1:22:14
you, Joe. Mac, tell the lieutenant he can call us a big manhunt. We've got
1:22:19
him in the Brewster's
1:22:20
house. Do you want to see him?
1:22:21
to bring him in? All right, we'll leave him right here. The lieutenant's on his way over. So, I've
1:22:26
been turned in, eh? Well, I suppose you and my steel pigeon brother of mine will split the reward?
1:22:32
Reward? Well, now I've got some turning in to do. You think my aunts are sweet, charming old ladies,
1:22:36
don't you? Well, there's 13 bodies buried in their cellar. Teddy? Teddy? Teddy! 13 bodies,
1:22:41
I'll show you where they're buried. Oh, yeah? Come on, I'll show you. They're in the cellar.
1:22:45
You'd better be careful what you're saying about your aunts. They happen to be friends of ours.
1:22:48
Sir, do you want to?
1:22:49
that you don't want to see us down in the cellar.
1:22:51
I'm not so sure I want to be down in the cellar with him.
1:22:54
Look at that face.
1:22:55
He looks like Boris Karloff.
1:22:58
Hey, Pat, get him off me.
1:23:00
Yeah, what do you think you're doing?
1:23:03
Well, what do you know about that?
1:23:06
Come in.
1:23:08
What the heck is going on here?
1:23:10
I thought I told you I was going to handle this.
1:23:13
Well, sir, we was just about to...
1:23:15
What happened?
1:23:16
Did he put up a fight?
1:23:17
ain't the guy that blows the bugle this is brother he tried to kill kline all i said is that he
1:23:22
looked like boris karloff turn him over we kind of
1:23:27
think he's wanted somewhere oh yeah kind of
1:23:29
think he's wanted somewhere if you two don't look at the circulars we hang up in the station
1:23:33
at least you could reach your detective certainly he's wanted in indiana escaped there
1:23:38
from the
1:23:39
prison for criminal insane for gosh sakes that's how he's described he looked like
1:23:44
karloff
1:23:45
Was there ever word mentioned?
1:23:47
Yeah, I'm claiming it.
1:23:49
He tried to get us down in the cellar.
1:23:51
He said there was 13 bodies buried in there.
1:23:54
13 bodies buried in the cellar?
1:23:56
And that didn't tip you off that he came out of a nut house?
1:23:59
I thought all along he talked kind of crazy.
1:24:01
Oh, it's Shakespeare.
1:24:03
Where have you been all night?
1:24:05
And you needn't bother to tell me?
1:24:06
I've been right here, writing a play with Mortimer Brewster.
1:24:09
We've been plenty of time to write that play.
1:24:11
You're suspended.
1:24:12
Now get back and...
1:24:13
report in. Can I come over sometime and use the station typewriter? No! Get out of here!
1:24:19
Take that guy somewhere else and bring him too. See if we can find out about his accomplice.
1:24:24
The guy that helped him escape. He's one of two. No wonder Wilkins in the shape
1:24:29
it's in with the
1:24:29
police force full of flatheads like you. Falling for that kind of story. Thirteen bodies in
1:24:34
the
1:24:35
cellar. But there are thirteen bodies in the cellar. Who are you? I'm President Roosevelt.
1:24:39
What is this? He's the guy that blew.
1:24:41
bugle. Good morning, Colonel. Well, Colonel, you've blown
1:24:47
your last bugle. Dear me, another yellow
1:24:50
fever victim? What? All the bodies in the yellow cellar, yellow, whatever it's
1:24:55
called, are, well,
1:24:57
have lots of bodies in there with yellow fever victims, you know. No, Colonel, this is a spy
1:25:02
we quote in the White House. Will you get that guy out of here? If there's any questioning of
1:25:06
spies, that's my department. You keep out of this.
1:25:10
Oh, if there's any question of spies, then I'm also head of the Secret Service, so remember to
1:25:15
come to me, okay?
1:25:17
Hi, Mother Brewster.
1:25:19
Are you sure?
1:25:20
I'd like to talk to you about my brother Teddy, the one who blew the bugle.
1:25:25
Mr. Brewster, we ain't going to talk about that. He's got to be put away.
1:25:29
I quite agree with you. In fact, it's all arranged for.
1:25:31
I've got signatures on his commitment papers from our family's position.
1:25:35
Teddy sent them himself, in fact, and I sent them to it next to Ken.
1:25:38
Where's he going?
1:25:40
I don't care where he goes, as long as he goes.
1:25:42
Oh, he's going, all right.
1:25:43
But I want you to know that everything that's happened around here,
1:25:46
Teddy's responsible for.
1:25:48
Now those 13 bodies in the cellar.
1:25:50
Yeah, yeah, those 13 bodies in the cellar.
1:25:54
It ain't enough that the neighbors are all afraid of him
1:25:56
and his disturbing peace with that bugle.
1:25:58
But can you imagine if that cockeyed story
1:26:00
about 13 bodies in the cellar got around?
1:26:02
And now he's starting to yell a fever scare.
1:26:04
Cute, ain't it?
1:26:06
bodies do you think anyone will believe that story well you can't tell some people are just dumb
1:26:11
enough about a year ago a crazy guy starts a murder over green point and that's it to get
1:26:15
a half acre lot just to prove that hold on a minute good
1:26:21
morning good morning dear this is
1:26:23
mr. witherspoon he's come to meet teddy to meet teddy mr. witherspoon's the superintendent of
1:26:28
happydale oh come right in this is captain lieutenant rooney i'm glad
1:26:33
you're super because
1:26:34
him back with you today today i didn't know that not today look
1:26:39
elaine i've got some important
1:26:40
business to attend to so you're on the whole now i'm not on your life i had no idea it was
1:26:45
this immediate the papers are all signed he goes today you men will
1:26:50
find i'm no molly cuddle when
1:26:52
the president is treated like this oh what's this country come to there's your man super just a
1:26:57
minute mr president i have very good news for you your term with office is over is this march the
1:27:02
Hmm, let's see.
1:27:04
Oh, yes.
1:27:05
Today I go on my hunting trip to Africa.
1:27:06
I should prepare immediately.
1:27:08
Is she trying to move into the White House before I moved out?
1:27:11
Who, Teddy Taft?
1:27:12
Oh, this isn't Mr. Taft, Teddy.
1:27:14
It's Mr. Woodford.
1:27:15
He's your guide in Africa.
1:27:17
Oh, bully, bully.
1:27:18
I should prepare at once and get my instruments.
1:27:22
Goodbye, Aunt Abby.
1:27:24
Goodbye, Aunt Martha.
1:27:25
I'm going on my hunting trip to Africa.
1:27:26
Isn't this wonderful?
1:27:28
Good morning, darlings.
1:27:29
Oh, we have visitors.
1:27:30
This is Lieutenant Rooney.
1:27:32
Hello, Lieutenant.
1:27:33
My, you don't want to have the first budget the police say you are.
1:27:35
Well, as Lieutenant is here, you know, Teddy blew his bugle again last night.
1:27:39
Oh, yes, we're going to speak to Teddy about that.
1:27:41
It's a little more serious than that, Ms. Brewster.
1:27:44
And you haven't met Mr. Winspoon.
1:27:46
Mr. Superintendent, I'm happy to.
1:27:48
Oh, have you come to meet Teddy?
1:27:50
He's come to take him.
1:27:52
What? I don't know.
1:27:53
Yeah, well, we're alive.
1:27:55
I'm sorry, ladies, but the papers are all signed.
1:27:57
He goes to...
1:27:58
today. Well, we won't permit it. Yes, we won't be separated from Teddy. I'm sorry, ladies,
1:28:03
but the
1:28:04
law is the law. He's committed himself, and he's going. Look, if you're going to take Teddy, you're
1:28:08
just gonna have to take us with him. Yes, you'll have to take us with him. Well, why not? Well,
1:28:13
that's sweet of them to want to, but it's impossible. You see, we can't take sane people
1:28:17
at Happydale. Well, if you'll let us live there with Teddy, then we'll see that Happydale
1:28:22
is in
1:28:22
our will, and for a very generous amount. Well, if the Lord knows, we could use them.
1:28:26
money, but I'm afraid. Now, let's be sensible about this, ladies. For instance, here
1:28:31
I am
1:28:31
wasting my time in mourning when I've got serious work to do. You know there are still
1:28:36
murders to be solved in Brooklyn? Yes! Oh, are there? And Emily is bugle -blowing
1:28:41
and
1:28:41
is disturbing the peace with that bugle. But sooner or later, we'd be put to the trouble
1:28:45
of digging up your cellar. Our cellar? Yeah, yeah, your nephew's been telling all around
1:28:51
that there are 13 bodies in your cellar. But there are 13 bodies.
1:28:54
in our cellar. If that's why you think Teddy has to go away, then come down to the cellar with us
1:28:58
and we'll prove it to you. I don't think the lieutenant wants to go down to the cellar.
1:29:02
He was telling me that just last year he had to dig up a half acre lot just up
1:29:06
in Greenpoint. Isn't that right, lieutenant? That's right. Well, you won't have to do any
1:29:10
digging there. The graves are all marked. I mean, we put flowers on them every
1:29:14
Sunday. Flowers? Superintendent, don't you think you can
1:29:18
find room for these ladies? Well, I... You come down now and we'll show you
1:29:22
Graves. It's all right. I'll take your word for a lady. I'm a busy man. How about it, Super?
1:29:26
Well, they'd have to be committed. Teddy committed himself. Can't they commit themselves? Can't
1:29:30
they sign the papers? Why, certainly. Oh, if we could sign the paper, or if we could
1:29:34
go live there with Teddy, then we'll sign the papers. Where are they? Yes, where are
1:29:37
they? He's coming around, Lieutenant. Oh, hello, Mr. Klein. Oh,
1:29:43
hello, Mr. Klein. Are
1:29:44
you here, too? Yeah, me and Brophy have got your offer nephew on the kitchen. Well, sign
1:29:48
out, Superintendent. I want to get this all
1:29:50
the 13 bodies.
1:29:53
If you'll sign right here.
1:29:58
You know, I'm really happy about going.
1:30:00
The neighborhood here has changed, so...
1:30:02
Just think of front lawn again.
1:30:04
Oh, we're overlooking something.
1:30:06
Well, we're going to need the signature of a doctor.
1:30:09
Oh, Dr. Einstein!
1:30:10
Won't you come right over here?
1:30:12
We need you to sign something.
1:30:13
I think I missed...
1:30:16
Don't worry.
1:30:18
At one point last...
1:30:18
I thought the doctor was going to operate on me.
1:30:21
Were you leaving, doctor?
1:30:22
I think I missed good.
1:30:24
Aren't you going to wait for Jonathan?
1:30:25
I don't think we're going to the same place.
1:30:31
Hello, Mac. Rooney.
1:30:32
Yeah, we picked up the description of the guy that's wanted in Indiana.
1:30:35
It's right here on the desk.
1:30:37
Yeah, about 50 for 140 pounds.
1:30:40
Talks with a German accent.
1:30:41
As a doctor.
1:30:44
It's our white lieutenant.
1:30:45
The doctor here has just completed the signature.
1:30:49
Thanks, Doc, you're really doing Brooklyn a service
1:30:52
Mr. Brewster, you sign now as next of kin
1:30:54
Yes, of course, right here?
1:30:56
That's fine
1:30:57
Well, and so she makes everything complete, everything legal?
1:31:00
Why, yes
1:31:01
Well, now, aunties, now you're safe
1:31:03
When do you think you'll be ready to start?
1:31:05
Um, Mr. Witherspoon, why don't you go upstairs and I'll tell you just what he can take along
1:31:10
Uh, no, that's all right, Mornor, we'd like to speak to you
1:31:12
Yes, just upstairs and to the left
1:31:13
Well, Mornor, now that we're-
1:31:15
moving this house is really yours yes sir we'd like you to live here now oh no i couldn't auntie
1:31:19
this house is too full of memories well you'll need a home once you and elaine get married
1:31:25
darlings that's very indefinite it's nothing of the kind we're going to be married right away
1:31:31
mortimer we're really worried about something no darling she'll love it a happy day oh yes we're
1:31:35
very happy about the whole thing that's just it we don't want anything to go wrong you
1:31:40
see you
1:31:41
signed as next of kin
1:31:43
Yes, of course. Why not?
1:31:44
Well, dear, it's not his signature, dear.
1:31:48
It's not Mr. Einstein's signature, dear. It's yours.
1:31:52
You sign his next of kin.
1:31:56
You see, Mortimer, it's something that we never wanted to tell you.
1:31:58
But now since you're a man, and it's something Elaine should know too.
1:32:03
You see, Mortimer, you're not a Brewster.
1:32:07
Your mother, she came to us a cook, and then you were born about a few months after.
1:32:11
afterwards. She was such a lovely woman and such a good cook that we didn't want to lose
1:32:14
her, so brother ended up marrying her. Not really? Uh, Brewster? Now don't
1:32:20
feel badly
1:32:20
about it, dear. And Elaine, this won't make any difference to you? Elaine, do you hear?
1:32:25
Do you understand? I'm a bastard! Oh, I must
1:32:30
really see to breakfast.
1:32:31
Mormor's coming over to my house. Bobby's gone to Philadelphia, and Mormor and I are
1:32:35
going to have some breakfast together. Yes, I need some coffee. I've had...
1:32:39
Quite a night.
1:32:41
We won't need the wagon.
1:32:43
Car's out, oh, my car's out front.
1:32:45
Oh, are you leaving now, Jonathan?
1:32:47
Yeah, he's going back to Indiana.
1:32:49
There's some people there I want to take care of for the rest of his life.
1:32:52
Well, it's nice to know you have a place to go to.
1:32:54
We're leaving, too.
1:32:55
Yes, we're going to Happydale.
1:32:57
This house is in the last of the Brewsters.
1:32:59
Unless Mortimer wants to live here.
1:33:01
Oh, I was, I was just going to make.
1:33:02
Probably from this property over to the church.
1:33:04
Well, we never thought of that.
1:33:06
After all, it should be a part of it.
1:33:07
cemetery.
1:33:09
All right, let's get going. I'm a
1:33:11
busy man. Well, I can't
1:33:13
better my score now, but neither can you.
1:33:15
The score stands even. Twelve
1:33:16
to twelve.
1:33:23
Jonathan was always such a
1:33:25
mean boy. Never could stand to see anyone
1:33:27
get ahead of him. I wish we could
1:33:29
show him that he wasn't so smart.
1:33:33
Mr. Witherspoon.
1:33:35
family live with you at Happydale? I have no family. Oh, I suppose you consider everyone
1:33:40
at Happydale your family? I'm afraid you don't understand. As head of the institution, I
1:33:44
have to get quite aloof. That must make it very lonely for you, then. It does, but my
1:33:49
duty is my duty. Well, Martha, if you want to join us for breakfast, Mr. Witherspoon,
1:33:55
at least have some of our wine. Elderberry wine. Elderberry wine?
1:34:02
Yes, we make it ourselves.
1:34:03
Why, yes, of course. At Happydale, our relationship will be more formal.
1:34:08
But here, you don't see much elderberry wine nowadays. I thought I'd had my last glass of it.
1:34:14
Oh, no.
1:34:14
Here it is.
1:34:31
Thank you.
1:36:26
We'll be right back.
